My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
