Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
