There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
