There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
