ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
