she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
