return my video game
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You pole danced in your parka.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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