I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
