Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I love having hate sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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