he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
