i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize