Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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