Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
