Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
