Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
