I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
