He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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