her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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