I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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