and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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