her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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