Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize