I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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