Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
