Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
