Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
