I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
