She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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