I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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