help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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