Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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