I molested 6 butterflies tonight
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
