i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
