Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
