when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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