I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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