i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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