Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize