Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize