I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
