why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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