i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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