Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
