that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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