Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
