Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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