well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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