PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
