You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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