Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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