I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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