I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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