i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she told me i tasted like america
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
