I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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