it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
