so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
