I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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