How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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