I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
