I think I died a long time ago.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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