that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
