A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
