Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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