ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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