office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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