haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
