I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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