It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
