i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
