hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
