I cannot find my penis.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
