I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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