Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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