oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
