problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
