covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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