So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
